


Seven Things Mike Hates, and Three Things She Loves

by bestliars



Series: they would be ridiculous ladies [2]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, F/F, Feminist Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-09
Updated: 2012-11-09
Packaged: 2017-11-18 06:47:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/558075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bestliars/pseuds/bestliars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>7 + 3 = 10</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seven Things Mike Hates, and Three Things She Loves

 

**HATE**

  
**1\. People who call her Mikkeline**

  
It’s a weird name; it’s a family name; it means something. She likes sharing a first initial with her brothers. That doesn’t mean it isn’t a weird name.

There are a few people who are allowed to call her Mikkeline, but they are all older relatives. Everyone else has to call her Mike. When she was a little girl they tried to talk her into a more suitable abbreviation, but she was adamant about getting called Mike. Mike was the kind of name a hockey player should have, and even then she knew she wanted to a hockey player. They tried Mikey, and Mickey, and even Lin, but she’s always been stubborn, so Mike stuck.

Later on players on the opposite team startarted to call her Mikkeline on ice. That never stops, but eventually they learn that there will be consequences. She doesn’t let it mess with her game, but she hates it.

She’s Mike. It’s what she wants to be called, it’s who she is, and everybody else is gonna have to deal with it.

**2\. People who stare at her chest.**

  
She knows that she’s well endowed. Her breasts are fucking awesome, but most situations requires eye contact, alright?

Mike is really curvy all over, the top a gift from nature, the bottom a side effect of playing hockey. She understands why people would want to look at her body. Sometimes she uses this for her advantage, but not always. She likes to choose to make her body work for her, not passively let other people’s perceptions of her body influence a situation.

Mike is all for admiring hot bodies, but not to the extent of objectification. Bodies belong to people with faces and emotions and stuff, it’s important to take all that in, not get stuck on the rack.

**3\. People who make dumb blonde jokes, etc.**

  
She was used to dumb jocks making dumb jokes, and had never let it bother her. Then the first time she was at Flyers prospect camp with Jenn there was this guy—she can’t even remember his name, he never made the team—who during dinner asked, “Why do blondes wear underwear?” and the punchline was “To keep their ankles warm!”

Mike wasn’t looking at her food, she wasn’t looking at the which guys were laughing and which weren’t, she was looking at Jenn’s face; watching all the color fade, the smile dissapear, the way Jenn’s eyes got cold. Mike never wanted to see that again.

The moment passes too fast for her to really react. There’s another bad joke, but this one is about Americans and is almost funny. Jenn is still staring at the silverware. Mike doesn’t know what to say, but she reaches across the table to touch Jenni’s wrist, because she has to do something.

She decides right then that next time she’ll be prepared, that she’ll say something. She knows there’s going to be a next time.

It isn’t just dumb blonde jokes that she won’t tolerate, it’s all of the casual misogyny that gets thrown around by men who she knows love their sisters, mothers, and wives.

**4\. Sydney Crosby**

Mike maybe doesn’t hate Syd, but she really can’t stand her. Syd complete lack of personality makes things harder for the other girls in the league. She’s so benign, asexual enough to be one of the guys, while still feminine to not be a dyke. She’s what they want her to be, most of the time.

(When she isn’t being the league poster girl for gender integration she’s being a brat about Mike’s team, which is annoying too, but at Mike would rather be pissed than bored.)

Syd’s a great hockey player, obviously, and Mike appreciates that they’re on the same team during the Olympics, but that doesn’t mean Mike likes her as a person (or a robot, or...whatever).

**5\. The Philly Media.**

Well, first off, sometimes they call her Mikkeline. That’s pretty bad.

Not as bad as they times they’ve called her and Jenn sluts or whores or bitches or bimbos or whatever, but still—it’s Mike, not Mikkeline. They should know that. She’s made herself very clear.

And the misogyny is pretty terrible. Mike actually can’t tell if they say more mean things about her and Jenn or Sydney because it’s a hella lot of mean things. And while saying mean misogynistic things is really never ok, shouldn’t they spend more time insulting the Flyer’s biggest rival than the captain and the top scorer?

It sucks. Everything they do something wrong: it’s because they’re girls! Every time they do something good: it doesn’t matter because they’re still girls! When they don’t do anything at all they’re still girls!

(Girls, not women, obviously.).

**6\. Paul Holmgreen**

  
She doesn’t want to talk about this anymore, but yeah. Fuck it.

**7\. Columbus, Ohio**

  
Hating Columbus probably isn’t fair, but whatever, hate is very rarely rational. After the trades her mind made Columbus, Ohio into a sychedone for everything wrong with the world, and even now that she has Jenn back by her side all of those negative feelings can’t just disappear. It’ll pass, eventually, maybe if the Blue Jackets stop being the worst. She isn't holding her breath.

 

**LOVE**

**1\. Hockey**

  
Is everything. Mike has a tattoo of hockey sticks and the Canadian flag. Every aspect of Mike’s life today is directly affected by her hockey. It doesn’t make things easy. In fact it makes things really fucking complicated, but it’s worth it. Mike can’t explain how much she loves hockey because everything is hockey. It would be like explaining air.

**2\. Arnold**

  
Arnold is the best dog ever. When Mike went with her brothers to pick out a dog there were two batches of puppies. The first are gorgeous black labs with silky coats. Mike is fine with not looking any more. But younger brothers are the worst, and Mark insisted on checking out the other litter.

The other litter was Schoodles, which iis a Schnauzer-Poodle mix, which Mike didn’t know because she purposely isn’t the type of person who knows stuff about poodle cross breeds; She just knew it was a tiny white fluff ball of cuteness. She would get so much shit from the guys if she owned a dog like that. It was the epitome of a girly dog.

Mark picked a puppy up and handed it to Mike. And yeah, it was maybe love at first sight or something.

Mark said, “You have to! You really do.”

And that’s how she came home with Arnold, who is just the best dog ever. He’s intelligent and protective and generally awesome. Choosing Arnold was something she did for herself; she wanted to have a girly dog. People are going say things about her having a girly dog, but she isn’t going to let them dictate her dog owning. That would be lame.

The guys made fun of her for a while but eventually Arnold won them over.

She might be a little bit ridiculous about Arnold, what with the buying him ice cream and stuff, but he’s the only outlet for her few faint maternal impulses. She’s a good dog mom. Every year Jenn will try to get Arnold in a Halloween costume, and Mike never lets her because that’s cruel.

**3\. Jenni Carter**

Oh god, how can she explain Jenni Carter: She can’t. Jenni is tall and blonde and gorgeous. Jenni has been her best friend since forever. Being in love with Jenni is almost her natural state of being these days. The falling happened gradually, such a long time ago that she can’t recall it happened. It just is.

For a long time their love was enough as friends and teammates, and that was great, but this, with the possessives and the couples “we” and the making out, it’s so much better. Getting together with Jenni was probably inevitable. They got a little push from absence making the heart grow fonder, but Mike bets they probably would have figured things out before too long no matter where they were.

Mike loves things because they make Jenni happy—there’s a reason why they play so well together. She hates things that make Jenni sad. Isn’t that love, when your emotions aren’t just about you?

Being in L.A. was good, right from the start. She had Arnold with her. She got to play hockey. The press didn't care about hockey and found Lindsay Lohan's breasts more titillating than Mike's. Dusty had already beat any misogyny out of the locker room. The weather was warm and the team was doing alright. L.A. was never bad, but when Jenni got traded it instantly became exponentially better.

From that point on things just got better and better, until Jenni was her girlfriend and then they won the Stanley Cup together, and that's pretty hard to beat. Her life is full of moments stuffed with love; she's enjoying this one. In bed with Jenn's head resting on her chest, they don't have to be anywhere until late in the afternoon.

Jenn shifts she can look Mike in the eye and says, "I love you so much."

Mike smiles back and says, "Yeah, I love you too."


End file.
